Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Joam Takes on Craigslist...again

be cool (williamsburg)
Date: 2011-11-08, 3:53PM EST

I Want to help people love themselves and have confidence . I can make this happen for you

Location: williamsburg
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: can be worked out

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JOAM's RESPONSE

Dear kind Williamsburg-er

How are you going to help me? I am a single man, originally from a rural town. I am portly, have a beard that often collects crumbs and haven't been laid in a decade. Obama won't even help me.

Desparately, (see...i can't even spell that correctly)

Joam


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RESPONSE

bp616@xxx.xxx to me

Well we would have to set up a consultation and meet up and see what your looking to change or if u need help meeting friends, or girls or whatever your looking for . Let me know when you are free to meet.

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JOAM's RESPONSE

To: bp616@xxx.xxx

You sound very professional. Are you a life coach?

Joam

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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Joam Occupies Craigslist.

Dear Readers,

I came across this little "gem" of a craigslist post today.

Full Time Nanny needed (Rosedale, ny)
Date: 2011-11-02, 6:22PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-xxxxxxxxxxxx
We need a nanny to care for our 7 month and 2 year old children. Must be mature , trustworthy and possible weekends. Bilingual a plus but english a must.
250 per week . Call XXX-XX-XXXX


Of course I had to contact them. Here is my response to this ad.

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Dear Family in Search for a Nanny,

250 dollars divided by 5 days is 50 dollars a day divided by 8 hours = $6 hourly for professional childcare. I am guessing that your children are the most important thing to you and somebody applying to watch them for 6 dollars an hour will either be 1. a child 2. somebody on a "list" 3. not all that educated.

I know times are tough, but invest in the safety and well being of your children. 250 dollars a week will not employ a Mary Poppins. My fiance made that in 6th grade watching her class' guinea pig.

Respectfully,

Joam J.