JetBlue

Dear Jet Blue,

I recently was on a NYC subway car and was exposed to your ad campaign "Jetblue and you sitting in a tree". I was highly offended. I am apart of an ultra orthodox faith and believe that your first kiss should be on one's wedding day. I had to hide my children's eyes, field their questions ("papa what does that mean") and my wife felt visually raped. We all know what happens when you are in the tree; k-i-s-s-i-n-g. Shame on you.

Joam

---Jet Blue's Response---

Dear Joam,

Thank you for contacting JetBlue Airways regarding one of our new ads. We are sorry to hear that you
found the "JetBlue and you sitting in a tree" ad to be very offensive and we would like to take the
opportunity to address your concerns.

We certainly didn't intend to cause offense and we offer our sincere apology for the uncomfortable
situation this led to for you and your family. We will be sure to pass along your concerns to our
marketing department for review.

Joam, we appreciate you taking the time to voice your concerns with us. We wish you and your family
the very best and hope to have the opportunity to serve you onboard a future JetBlue flight.

Sincerely,

Jenny

Nebraska TV Station

Dear Patrick,

My name is Joam and I live nearby. I was very upset over the "part time jobs for the holidays filled" story. I was hoping very much to get one of those jobs. See I've got alot of animals, mostly strays and a sick wife to take care of. Folks around here need something to hold on to, even if it's just waiting for the phone to ring for a job opportunity.

Sincerely

Joam J. Jeremy

Round Table Pizza

Dear Round Table Pizza

I was wondering if you could tell me what the maximum amount of pizza making materials each Round Table kitchen is equipped with. In other words, how many maximum pizzas can the average RT franchise make before running out of materials? I am opening a pizza shop called "Square Couch Pizza" and am wondering how many supplies a high volume chain has on hand.

Thanks,

Joam

PS. I love love love love love your ranch dipping sauce

-----ROUND TABLE's RESPONSE--------

Hi Jeremy,

Most of our processes are trade secrets, but in general, I can tell you that there isn't a single formula. You've got to anticipate your demand, consider product shelf life, etc. Maybe your suppliers can give you more help. That's about all I can say...

Best of luck to you.

Amy
Guest Loyalty Services

Pizza Hut

Dear Pizza Hut,

I was wondering if you could tell me what the maximum amount of pizza making materials each Pizza Hut kitchen is equipped with. In other words, how many maximum pizzas can the average PH franchise make before running out of materials? I am opening a pizza shop and am wondering how many supplies a high volume chain has on hand.


Thanks--- Joam

BURGER KING

Hi Burger King Media execs.

My name is Joam and I am an actor and filmmaker. I would like to chronicle my adventures eating in Burger King's across the United States. I would start my journey in New York City and hopefully end my journey in Los Angeles. My primary focus is to document the joy your institution brings to the young road tripper. I have a great love for BK and just wish to spread it (as well as stomp out the evil empire of Mcdonalds). I was hoping that you would sponser this endeavor or at least provide me with an official BK mascot King costume. I feel that wearing the costume would add a very comedic element to it as well as even more media exposure.

Please let me know your thoughts,


Joam

Bodum French Press

Hi Bodum,

I recently bought a Bodum 8 cup french press. I often make myself a cup of coffee while eating what I have deemed my "european breakfast". I have a problem however, I cannot have children. I have tried and the doctor has said that it is simply not possible. This troubles my partner and I immensely so much so that everyday things have become much harder. This includes, driving past schools,children birthday parties and making myself a cup of french press coffee as it involves me thrusting that long rod towards the liquid. Do you have any french presses that do not have the long rod? I don't want to co call phallic but it does represent my husband's inadequacies. I very much wish to continue having Bodum products in my home. Please help.

Respectfully,

Joam

Party Planning

Hi Party Planner,

I would like to plan a party and have been having a little trouble finding an event staff to help me. I would like to have a "Jesus' Birthday Party" celebration near the end of December. Some of my ideas are;
1. biblical food
2. live nativity scene
3. gifts for Jesus
4. Christian dj
5. an only christian waitstaff.
6. no Christmas trees or anything that reflects pagan values.
7. games for children with christian themes
8. Christian celebrity appearance. I would say somebody like Kristin Chenowith, only she played into satan's game by playing a witch on broadway, so somebody like her but with a clean performance history.

I know this is a lot, but it is indeed a special event and it's new york city, so we should be able to pull it off. Please email me back your interest and ideas.

Thanks,

Joam

---------------------------------------
Hi Joam,

Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate your event.

Best of luck.

Cheers,
Liron

JOAM's RESPONSE

Dear Liron,

I am very upset that you cannot accommodate my event. Do you have any suggestions as to event planners that can help me organize my Birthday Party to Jesus?

Best,

Joam

-------I CONTACTED ANOTHER PARTY PLANNER IN THE SOUTH, HERE IS THEIR RESPONSE-------

Good Morning, Joam.

Yes, indeed, a special event. We would love to work with you, but our Christmas decorations are out the entire month of December. I am afraid that will not meet your requirements. Please keep us in mind for other event options.

Starbucks

Hi Starbucks,

I want to start out by saying that although expensive and yuppy, I very much enjoy the Starbucks experience. HOWEVER, I'm a little upset at how you misrepresent your hot "apple cider". It is apple juice not cider, that you sell. There is a difference. I brought this to the attention of one of your baristas and they dumbly replied "yes it's apple juice". YET it is advertised as apple cider. I would like my money back. I do not like apple juice, I only drink cider for religious reasons. I wanted to bring this to your attention. You may send a check or a voucher.

Thanks,

Joam

---------
Hello Joam,

Thank you for contacting Starbucks Coffee Company.

I am very sorry that your hot apple cider drink was not enjoyable.

I want to assure you that I will be following up with the store and its management team in order to ensure that we are making these beverages correctly. Unfortunately, I am unclear at which store this happened. If you could please respond to this email with further information about the store location (such as cross streets), this would help us greatly. Please also feel free to take a look at our store locator at http://www.starbucks.com/retail/find/default.aspx for store information.

What I would like to do, is to invite you back to our stores to have a drink done right. I would be happy to mail you some beverage coupons so that your next drink will be on us.

Thanks again for giving us the opportunity to fix this situation. I assure you that we take feedback from our customers seriously and will use this as an opportunity to improve the experience for you.

If there are any questions or concerns that I have not been able to address, please don’t hesitate to call us at 800 23-LATTE (235-2883), we are here Monday through Friday from 5:00 AM to 6:00 PM (PST).


Thank you,

Sharon P
---------JOAM's RESPONSE-------

Dear Sharon,

Thank you very much for your response. It is nice to know that my concerns have been taken seriously. I would love to take you up on your beverage coupons offer. Perhaps as the apple cider drink enraged me so much, I shall try another beverage.

Joam

State of Nebraska

Dear Nebraska Tourism

I am doing a school report on nebraska. My class voted and it was chosen the most boring state.There doesn't seem to be anything going on except for fields of corn. Could you give me 5 reasons why somebody would want to visit your state.


thanks,

Joam



------NEBRASKA'S RESPONSE------


Hello Joam,
Sure, I would be glad to help with your project. There is something for everyone in Nebraska! Below are 5 awesome facts about the state:

1. Did you know that Omaha’s Henry Doorly Zoo is ranked one of the best zoos in the nation and is home to the world’s largest rain forest? For details about the zoo check out www.omahazoo.com.

2. Every spring between mid-February and mid-April, nearly half a million Sandhill Cranes stop to rest and refuel along Nebraska’s Platte River valley on their journey north. This awesome spectacle is a must see for all nature lovers. For details check out www.nebraskaflyway.com.

3. The world’s largest hand-planted forest is located in the Nebraska Sandhills region near Halsey, Nebraska. The Nebraska National Forest is a perfect place to enjoy the great outdoors! For details check out www.fs.usda.gov.

4. Train enthusiasts flock to North Platte, home of the world’s largest railroad yard. Enjoy a 360-degree view of Bailey Yards from the Golden Spike Tower and learn all there is to know about trains. For information go to www.goldenspiketower.net.

5. Is Kool-Aid your favorite soft drink? This tasty drink was invented in Hastings, Nebraska – home to the annual Kool-Aid Days celebration and the world’s largest Kool-Aid Stand! For details check out www.kool-aiddays.com.


Heather


-----NOTES FROM JOAM------

I heart Nebraska. I also love that one of the 5 reasons to love nebraska is that they invented Kool-Aid. Thanks Nebraska!!!!

Charms Lollipops

Dear Charms,

I have started my 8 year old daughter on a diet consisting only of charms lollipops (due to food allergies) and she has started smelling a little like fermented fruit. She is allergic to fruit and I fear for her safety, if there are fruit bits in your pops. Is there real fruit bits in your pops? She must only eat artificial flavors.

Thanks,

Joam

RESPONSE: Delta

Dear Mr. Jeremy,

RE: Case Number 1859560

Thank you for your feedback regarding our recent ad campaign. On behalf
of Delta Air Lines, I appreciate the opportunity to respond to your
correspondence.

I am truly sorry for your disappointment with our ad campaign "sleep is
not a perk". Customer observations provide us with a valuable
opportunity to improve our image, and we thank you for taking the time
to write. Be assured I will be sharing your comments and suggestion
with our Corporate Communications leadership team for their internal
review.

Mr. Jeremy, I want to thank you again, for writing. As a valued
customer, your business is important to us and Delta will always
consider it a privilege to serve your travel needs.

Sincerely,

Romaldo M.

Delta Airlines

Hi Delta,

I live in New York City. Your recent ad campaign that is featured on the subway proclaims "sleep is not a perk". Yet it is in reference to the "business elite" class, where you are providing fully reclining beds. Sleep is not a perk, agreed. Therefore, shouldn't you offer beds in all classes, including coach? This ad makes me uncomfortably mad.

Joam

HASBRO

JOAM's NOTE: Beyblades are essentially fancy looking spinning tops based off of a cartoon. Look them up for more information. They are taking over schoolyards everywhere.

Dear Hasbro,

Beyblades have taken over my life. i am facing beyblade battles on a daily basis and am afraid that somebody will defeat me. I have at this point about 10 beyblades...my favorite being the "Dark Bull". I am no longer speaking to my wife or kids as that what it takes to be an "ultimate beyblader" . I challenge people in grocery stores, playgrounds, dentist offices and most recently I held a challenge on the very rowdy street corner in the Bronx. I play for money or for "keeps". I recently got very depressed over how easily they seem to break. The material is cheap plastic. Are there any advanced beyblading reinforcement kits? I made a rubber reinforcers for all my blades using a pink eraser. I should have taken a photo. Now I am depressed that I didn't take one to upload. Can I please host an official BeyBlade championship?

Thanks,

Joam

HABROS RESPONSE

Hi joam,

Thank you for contacting us. We appreciate your taking the time to share your feedback with us regarding Beyblades.

Regrettably, we do not currently have advanced reinforcement kits available for consumers. However, if your products are broken or are defective in any way, we will be most pleased to arrange an exchange for you. In order to do this, please provide the names of the Beyblades in question and we will be happy to exchange the products for you.

Hasbro, Inc. is not currently providing Beyblade tournaments nor can we offer any information in regards to hosting your own tournament.

Consumer satisfaction is very important to us. Please be assured we have forwarded your comments to our management team so that they are also aware of your views.

We want to assure you that we are dedicated to maintaining quality products and service. We hope you and your family will continue to enjoy our products for many years to come.

Again, thank you for contacting us, and for your comments.

------------JOAM's RESPONSE---------

Dear Hasbro,

I was hoping to get you to sponser my Beyblades tournament or at least get a big banner for it. Would this be possible?

Thanks,

Joam

-----HASBRO RESPONSE------

joam,

Thank you for your email.

Our Consumer Affairs Department does not process sponsorship requests. All such requests are handled through Hasbro's Community Relations team.

Please see http://www.hasbro.org/ for more information. You may also call 1-800-242-7276 and ask for Community Relations.

Thank you for your understanding.